A Modern Talk About Pointless Knowledge
by Orange Ratchet
Summary: On the way to work, Heffer starts asking questions about Thomas Edison to Rocko. But will too many questions push Rocko a little bit off the edge?


DISCLAIMER TIME! I don't own Rocko's Modern Life, which belongs to Joe Murray, Viacom and Nickelodeon!

Here's a new Nicktoon one-shot, which involves one of my favorite Nicktoon shows, and one of Rocko's own characters, the main character himself! By the way, some of the conversation that is below is sort of based on a real-life conversation I had with an old friend of mine, except he annoyed me with a knowledge of Walt Disney. (The beginning and final parts didn't happen, but regardless) I hope you like it! Anyway, enjoy!

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><p>In the strange world of O-Town, Rocko was yawning as he was enjoying his breakfast. Surely, another day at work was awaiting him at the 'Kind of a Lot of Comic Books' store. The problem was, nobody in the neighborhood, aside from the regular customers, was buying a lot of comics, which got Rocko's boss in a big funk... by that, Rocko knew that meant his boss had a large temper.<p>

Rocko then heard some barking as he noticed his dog Spunky sitting down and looking towards his empty bowl.

"Oh, sorry, Spunky." Rocko said as he got up and went over to the cabinets. "I'll get your breakfast."

Rocko opened up the cabinets as he looked inside as he pulled out what seemed to be a bag of full dog food. He went over to Spunky's dog food as he tipped over the bag a little... only to see one kernel of dog food drop into the bowl. Rocko blinked as he turned the bag in his direction and lifted it up to look inside. "Hm. We must be out of dry dog foo-"

And then a lot of dog food spilt out of the bag and landed on top of Rocko. "-d."

Spunky happily dug in to the dog food that was dumped on by Rocko. Rocko carefully crawled out of the dog food as he said, "Don't eat it at once, Spunky. We wouldn't want a repeat of what happened last time."

Spunky didn't care as he kept eating happily.

He then heard the doorbell ringing as Rocko's head popped up. Rocko headed towards the door and opened it to find his best friend, Heffer Wolfe, standing there.

"Hi, Rocko! I was wondering if you'd like to hang out at the roller rink today? I've got a brand new set of skates I'm willing to try out!" Heffer gave a smile as he held up a pair of roller skates.

"Sorry, Heff, not this morning. I have to be at my post over at the comic store." Rocko explained. "But if my boss is in a good mood, he may let me have an hour lunch break."

"Oh, okay!" Heffer smiled. "You want to meet up with me at the Chokey Chicken, then?"

"Sure, Heff!" Rocko smiled as he went out. "Mind walking with me for today, Heff? I've heard today they'll be having a lunch meat parade, and I know the dangers. Lunch Meat Day is a very dangerous day."

"Sure, Rock!" Heffer said as he and Rocko started to head downtown. "Hey, Rocko, how come you can't just drive your car?"

"It broke down... again." Rocko sighed. "One of these days, I have to find a new spark plug to get that car up and running..."

"Hmmm..." Heffer said. "Oh! Rocko, when was the birthday of Thomas Edison?"

"The inventor of the telephone?" Rocko raised an eyebrow to Heffer. "Why do you want to know that?"

"Well, you seem to be a pretty good technician and I was curious to know." Heffer explained. "So... when is it?"

"When else?" Rocko shrugged. "Thomas Edison's birthday is also his date of birth... February 11th, 1847."

"Ahhh..." Heffer nodded in understanding as the two kept walking on. "Hey, Rocko... when did Thomas Edison invent the lightbulb?"

Rocko blinked. "1879, though the lightbulb has been shown to have more use in the late 1850s to 1860s. Why do you ask?"

"No reason." Heffer said, shrugging.

Rocko nodded in understanding as he and Heffer kept walking. It wasn't much longer to the comic store now...

"Rocko?" Heffer asked. "When was Thomas Edison's grandfather born?"

Rocko's eyes widened as he glared at Heffer. "Heff... I don't know who Thomas Edison's grandfather is or when he was born. Anything you want to know on Thomas Edison or his family life, I do not particularily care for. I don't know WHY you're asking me this useless piece of knowledge. All I know on Thomas Edison is what I read from books. I'm not entirely an expert on the concept. If you want to know more about Thomas Edison, the telephone or any of his wonderful inventions, why can't you look them up in the library?"

"Because you're a whiz at this stuff, Rocko. But if it bothers you so much, I'll stop talking about Thomas Edision." Heffer said.

"Thank you, Heff. That's all I ask." Rocko sighed in relief. "Now, let's get to my job, I'll clock in and open up, you can be my first customer, don't take too long in selecting a comic from the store, and I'll meet you over at the Chokey Chicken for lunch when I can."

"Okay, Rocko." Heffer smiled. "That sounds fair."

Rocko smiled as he and Heffer continued walking towards the job. At first, Rocko thought Heffer's stupid questions had finally ended, but when he was nearing the comic book store...

"Hey, Rocko, how come Thomas Edison didn't invent motion picture cameras the moment he was born? We could have had great movies when the 1850s rolled around."

Rocko could do nothing but scream in anguish. Heffer was a good friend, but sometimes, Heffer can really infuriate a guy if pushed to his limit.

Rocko took a deep breath as Heffer blinked. "I only asked a question."

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><p>And this is another Nicktoon one-shot out of the way! What do you think? Anyway, I'll have another Nicktoon one-shot on the way! Keep your eye out, and read, review, criticize and suggest, folks! Anyway, thank you for reading, have a great day!<p> 


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